Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
