Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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