You can't motorboat a personality
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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