its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
