i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
