I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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