i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize