she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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