If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
