I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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