You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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