Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You were trust falling into bushes
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
