I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize