My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
