I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
