I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So much Jack, so little girl.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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