i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
