My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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