so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize