eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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