from now on my penis is your penis
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
