is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
