No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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