with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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