Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
