I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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