Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
