can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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