Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
