But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
