either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Everything about him screamed your future.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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