Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
