She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So apparently I’m into choking now
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
