so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
