Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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