also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
