How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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