Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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