youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
