shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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