please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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