Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize