all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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