piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
