the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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