i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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