Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We are two peas in an std pod
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
