3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
