I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
