Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
