I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I could fuck to npr.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
