I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We need to rekindle our bromance
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
