So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you had me at cake vodka
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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