Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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