Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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