Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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