it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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