We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
