i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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