Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
