I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
