Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so let's talk penis.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
