Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
