even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just high enough for therapy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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