we have officially lost it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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