I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
