Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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