just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
