You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
