i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize