I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
