He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
