Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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