i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
