Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
