you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
