You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
